The Lies We All Pretend Are True
Some lies are so universally accepted that we don’t even question them. They slip into conversations effortlessly, and everyone plays along. No harm, no foul. Like clicking “I have read and agreed to the terms and conditions” when we’ve done no such thing. Or telling ourselves, “Just one more episode,” fully aware that we’re in for an all-night binge.
These little lies exist everywhere. Think of your workplace, in friendships, in daily routines. We tell our friends we hear them, and we nod along because calling them out would disrupt the unspoken social contract. Take, for example, the classic “I’m on my way” text, which often means the person is still in bed or just getting into the shower. Or the ever-reliable “Let’s definitely hang out soon,” which is code for “We will never make concrete plans, but let’s pretend we will.”
Work culture is full of these, too. “This meeting won’t take long” is almost always false. “We value work-life balance” is printed in handbooks while employees answer emails at midnight. “We’re like a family here” often translates to “We will demand unreasonable loyalty while paying you the bare minimum.”
Then there’s the fitness lie: “I’ll start on Monday.” Monday comes and goes, and suddenly it’s next Monday, or the one after that. The same applies to diets, side projects, and breaking bad habits. The lie isn’t just about when we’ll start—it’s the comforting illusion that we’re about to change, even when we’re not really committed.
Why do we do it? Sometimes, it’s just to be polite. Nobody wants to say, “I don’t actually want to meet up” or “I find this meeting pointless.” Other times, it’s about avoiding conflict. A soft lie can keep the peace in situations where brutal honesty would cause unnecessary drama. And in some cases, we lie to ourselves because the truth is uncomfortable. Admitting we’re not going to start that project, quit that habit, or change our ways would mean facing our own lack of discipline.
But what happens when these little lies build up? When we believe our own excuses, or when politeness turns into avoidance? A harmless “I’m on my way” is fine in casual settings, but when we start lying to ourselves about the bigger things, our ambitions, relationships, or well-being, it can hold us back.
See also: Thursday Nights and the Things We Never Say
Of course, not every lie needs to be exposed. Some of them keep social interactions smooth. Nobody actually wants to hear, “Your baby is not cute” or “Your presentation was boring.” But maybe we can start by being more honest with ourselves. Instead of saying, “I’ll do it later,” maybe admit, “I don’t really want to.” Instead of, “We should meet up,” maybe say, “Let’s plan something now.”
Because the most dangerous lies aren’t the ones we tell others. They’re the ones we tell ourselves and believe.
